Happy dances, tears, and amazing views

Have you ever heard of the 'Wheel of Emotions'? Well, if not, today would be your first time!

The 'Wheel of Emotions' consists of eight basic emotions. The emotions expand into more emotions you can feel in specific situations. Well, I think in the last two months, this wheel has been rolling forward, backward, upside down, in all kinds of ways the wheel can move.

So quite an honest and vulnerable blog post this time. However, that gives one of the clearest and truest perspectives on moving to another country.

So sit back, relax and take some chocolate, because you might need it haha!

I will share six of the emotions with you today.

Sad

A couple of weeks ago, a family member passed away. We saw it coming. Nonetheless, with these kinds of moments, I need my family the most. Even though Spain is not that far, with these kinds of moments, it feels millions miles away. I felt fragile, in grief, and mostly, I felt disconnected from my family. I want to be there for them, hug them and go through the process together. Moments when something happens at home are the hardest and saddest moments for me not to be close to my friends and family members. Luckily I am here together with Robbin, so we can cheer each other up during these kinds of moments.

Surprised

I feel surprised every day. Imagine walking along the beach on a big pile of rocks or mountains. You follow a sandy path, which in the distance slightly bends to the left. In front of you, all you see is a narrow passage with high rocks along the path. It looks like you are walking through a canyon. The farther you walk, the more new things you see. And then, you see a beautiful blue sea, with waves as high as you've never seen. This walk was so incredible. Everywhere I look, I am amazed by the beauty of the nature of Bilbao.

Happy

As I told in one of my previous blog posts, I teach children around eight years old. They do not speak English very well, so sometimes that is a hell of a challenge. However, it makes me happy that, during classes, I can release my creativity. Creative things like drawing, painting, doing things in another way than usual to enable the children and me to communicate! Sometimes it is tough or challenging, but the inspiring, trustful, and grateful faces the children give back to me make me feel happy.

Besides, something that makes me happy is the feeling of feeling free. When I lived in the Netherlands, I sometimes felt stuck within my thoughts and beliefs. I was eager to achieve the expectations of others rather than follow my personal ambitions and dreams. It always had to be bigger and better. Now, when I have literally and figuratively left my old environment and context, I notice that this feeling gives way to a drive focused on what I want and what and what I need. I feel accepted and that I can be me. If I do not like something, I do not do it. For example, if I want to do a happy dance on the street, I do it. Besides the fact I miss my family and friends, this feeling of being free is amazing!

Bad

Moving to another country also means that you have to arrange lots of things like; new registrations, insurances, memberships, etc. These kinds of things are such stressful things to do. At least, I experienced it as sometimes stressful, mainly because it is way different organized compared to the Netherlands. For example, I had to get an N.I.E number. An N.I.E number is a personal number that you must request if you are in Spain for more than three months. When I finally figured out how to get an appointment to get this N.I.E. number in the first place, things still did not the way they should have gone. After waiting in a line, with plus-minus 50 other internationals and locals, I finally could enter the building. When I entered the building, the administration working told me that I did not include all of the required information. Well, I felt so stupid and stressed because I think I overlooked the list of requirements a hundred times before I left home. Well, luckily, I was assigned to a helpful lady. She told me I could go to another office to get the missing information. And that I could come back immediately so that everything still would have been arranged that day.

Well, kind of a vague story maybe, but I survived haha!

Fearful

Well, this one is one of the emotions I had to cope with in the beginning mostly. Already from the moment, we stepped into our car I felt insecure and anxious. What if it is nothing for me? What if I will miss my family and friends too much? What if I can not do it? All those awful beliefs, thoughts, and sometimes assumptions were floating inside my mind. But the feeling I had after beating these thoughts, where I realized everything would be okay, was amazing! Soon in this experience, it already turned out we definitely can do this!

Angry

Moving to Spain was not the only new adventure in my life. Moving to Spain was also the moment that my boyfriend and I started to move in together. I am experiencing that, especially when you move to another city, the irritations, frustrations, and angry feelings towards each other can arise more than usual. Let me explain to you why, when living in the Netherlands, you also have friends and family members you can visit. In Spain, we only have each other who we (can) trust completely. But luckily in our situation, I noticed this only makes us stronger and more connected. But yet, sometimes, there are these small matters we are getting frustrated or irritated with each other. For example, when Robbin continues hanging his dirty t-shirts on our mirror (which I think is SUPER annoying).

Or, when I drink coffee with a lot of milk and vanilla sweetener, Robbin gets SUPER annoyed by the fact I call this 'drinking coffee' because it is just foamed milk with vanilla and two drops of coffee. Well, even while writing this part of the blog, I am smiling. Because, it makes me realize, it may even be more of a happy feeling rather than an angry one.

So, now you have read about some of the moments of the last few months. Now imagine that you just feel all these emotions in one day!? This happens quite regularly hahaha, but after a while there will also be a better balance here I hope haha!